So many people have asked me, “What happened to your arm?” or “What happened to your leg?” I usually just hide it and shrug or claim my cat (that I don’t have) did it. Another question I’ve been asked is, “Why do you do that to yourself?” or “are you going to stop?” I just shrug. Or course I want every cut to be the last. But this is one way I get through. It’s not right. It’s not normal. It’s not healthy, and It’s not cool. That is why I try my hardest not to attack my arms. But still every month or so I’ll slip and cut. Cutting is different for everyone. So are their reasons for doing it.

The reasons I do it are because:

1. I feel I deserve it
2. If I binged, gained weight, or screwed up in anyway then its my PUNISHMENT.
3. Make the pain I feel inside appear on the outside
4. To show the world how much I hurt when I cant tell them in words
5. It makes me feel good...crazy I know.
6. Every scar has a memory
7. To feel the pain, and see the blood. Anymore I’ve become so numb to everything. And sometimes I want so badly to cry but can’t. But when I cut the blood is just as good, if not better than tears. You might think I’m crazy now. I used to think so too. But it might (and might not) surprise you how many people cut or burn themselves. Maybe their reasons aren’t as “crazy” as mine but they’re probably similar.

How does cutting go along with eating disorders?

            Another big thing about both of these is CONTROL. When my eating disorder isn’t full force, usually my cutting is. And vise versa. I can control my pain and what I eat when I can’t control the world around me.

Tips on stopping, or what to do instead of hurting yourself:
1. Call a friend of talk to them online

2. go on a walk

3. go shopping

4. read

5. journal

6. take a red marker or pen and make marks on your arm. It has helped some people as weird as it may sound.

7. Wear a rubber band and flick yourself (it hurts but doesn’t scar)

8. GET HELP! Talk to a therapist or someone who can help you find healthy ways to cope.